Lifestyle: Selflove

When I was 6 years old I decided no one liked me. What a thing to think and make as a life statement so young, but it's true. I wasn't invited to a girls birthday party, being one of the only kids not invited. I was so upset, I lied. Yep, I was 6 so what do you do. I told my very best friend that I lost my invitation and needed the address and time. She gave it to me, I wrote it down and went home and told my mom I needed to get a gift for a girl in my class. 

We bought a dress and some pretty sweet lip smackers, I was actually so excited! But, we got there, and I was looked at like a fool. By the kids and her mother. I didn't get to go to the party and I never told my Mom what I did to get there. I was 6 years old and I decided no one liked me and I wasn't good enough. 

This thought led through my whole life, I can see how it followed me in every relationship, family, friend and romantic. So many situations kept confirming that I was not enough and I was constantly comparing myself. 




Then, body image began to be a big part of the "I'm not good enough" mind. I started to diet at a young age and wanted to be skinny like my friends. I gained a lot of weight or "baby chub" when I was 11 and was made fun of for it. I didn't always eat the best, there was a convenience store right down the street. So yeah I ate a lot of junk, that didn't help. I was made fun of one too many times and decided to stop eating and start working out ALL the time! 

I was 13 when I became anorexic and 14 when I thought I'd give bulimia a try (that didn't last long, thank goodness). But 3 years later I still wasn't eating much, before high school. I was 100 pounds, skin and bones. I never felt more less, and not enough. In high school I had several wonderful people in my life who helped me eat and gave me some hope. BUT, I wasn't happy and it showed in so many ways. Becoming an over eater I gained weight and lost once again. I compared myself to everyone who I thought was prettier, thinner and well, better than me. I wasn't enough for anyone, especially not myself. 

I tried so hard in every single relationship, friend, family and romantic to be the one person they would love, and be there for. Except I didn't try with my own, the relationship with me. Self love is such an important relationship to have. When you have a strong sense of self worth and love for yourself, things begin to shift. Friends who were your "Besties", fall away and men who you thought loved you, do too. Relationships that no longer serve you basically disappear. 

And what are you left with?  YOU. To love and be kind to, to be your best friend, the light that lifts you up and the heart that holds you close no matter what. Because, well, you are enough. You begin to see that the relationships you now have are the ideal relationships for you. They love and cherish you as you now do yourself. Taking care of yourself mind, body and soul, is the most wonderful, generous thing you can do in your WHOLE life. 

Self love, should be taught to our children and every person on the planet, period. Give yourself the opportunity to shift, love YOU more than anything else, and every one you love will feel it!

This shoot was to show that you can get to happy after an eating disorder. I recovered from Anorexia, I am a recovering over eater and very proud. I no longer put myself down because of my body or the decision that little 6 year old girl made so many years ago. I love her and ME every day. It's not always easy, but like in any relationship if its worth the fight, then FIGHT. I am enough for me and I know I am enough for every one else too. 

Thank you so much to Michelle Liane for being apart of the beginning of something wonderful. 

Self love is all you need to be happy.    

You are beautiful just the way you are..


I hope this serves you.

Your Designer,

                                                           Amanda Garrett

The Canadian Women's Foundation

My days start with a loving kindness meditation towards myself, those I love and care for and out to all beings from my heart to theirs. I truly believe that each of us have a purpose to create greatness on the planet. To change the world one breath, one beat of the heart and one smile at a time. Sometimes it feels like I am not contributing enough but I know with this small act each morning, I am doing something. 

I didn't always do this, some days I woke up in such a horrible mood. I would look in the mirror and not even look at myself, just pass by or avoid my own eyes. I really disliked the person I was, and blamed other people for the experiences that I had. My life was dramatic and unreliable in so many ways, a lot had to do with how I perceived myself. I was never comfortable around people, always trying so hard to fit in and be liked, but also not always being the nicest person. Although as I went through school my friendships got better, but I still felt like I was never enough for anyone not even for me. 

For me it was always about my weight, my body and not having what I wanted. When I was 9 years old I started getting really chubby, that stuck with me for a few years. I was made fun of and teased because of the way my body looked. Which just kept confirming for me that I, my body, wasn't good enough. I struggled with diets starting really young, and then one day a boy I went to school with, who I thought was my "friend" bought a chocolate bar. He held it out to me and said, "I know you waaaaaant it Amanda."  ---I had, had it!

I couldn't bare feeling so unloved and looked down on because of my weight anymore, at 13 I started not to eat and worked out a lot. Three times a day as well as constantly going out with friends, (riding bikes, roller blading etc.). I lost 50 pounds in 2 months, when I went back to school from summer vacation everyone noticed and it made me feel so good! The guys were noticing me, girls that hardly spoke to me or spoke ill of me, were my "friends". Finally, I was enough! 

Sigh of relief right? Not so much. I decided it wasn't enough, I had to keep it off. SO for a short time I starting making myself sick. However, and thank goodness that didn't last long. A good friend, found out while we were away at camp and said she would tell my mom. I thank her to this day for that! I did continue eating very little, by the time I went into high school I was 100 pounds soaking wet. Yikes! For my body type, being more muscular, that was incredibly unhealthy. AND guess what, I still thought I was fat! 

Over the years I have struggled with body image issues, but over the last 4 months, I let it go. Yes, there are still parts that I wish were different, but I work on them every day.

The most important thing is I know I AM ENOUGH! I now look in the mirror with love and kindness towards myself.  I say often 'I love you Amanda' because at the end of the day all you've got is you. I share this short version of this story, my story with you because I believe that all of us need to believe we are worthy of everything in this life, no matter what we look like how we feel about ourselves is so crucial.

I am a huge supporter of the 'As We Are Project' from the Canadian Women's Foundation. This month, being my 3rd year Anniversary, for each 'like' on Facebook that gets A.M.E.G. Designs to 300, a dollar will be donated to the CWF. THIS is where my journey has led me and it's not done yet. I am grateful because now I can help as many young girls and women as I can feel comfortable in their own skin. Because you are not alone, together we can take on the world!

Thank you so very much for reading.

Love and guidance your Designer,

Amanda Garrett



Making all your dress dreams come true and helping to illuminate the beauty in you..

Canadian Women's Foundation
Investing in the strength of women and the dreams of girls.